That’s a more complex issue for me personally, because while I do believe victims by default there are always shit-stirrers I’ve seen bad actors, mostly anti-SJW factions, trying to weaponize innocent statements on non-kink social media into accusations, so I’m a little less trusting in the goodness of the unrestrained Internet. FetLife’s official policy of “You can’t name names of people who have abused you” in your posts leads to FetLife protecting people who are active abusers, making them more likely to ban someone for mentioning an abuser than they are the abusers themselves. But to be fair, changes have been promised before and not been forthcoming, so people are skeptical.) That’s a good sign I hope this newfound focus will continue. (EDIT: John has said that he’s got two projects in the pipeline that he’s got to do for legal reasons, and then by May 18th he hopes to do a comprehensive review. Hence: Going temporarily dark to encourage John Baku – the owner and lead programmer – to prioritize these tools, stat. Which is a shame, because a lot of women have already left FetLife because, well, creepy rapey assholes. But despite the fact that women have been complaining vociferously about this shit for the seven years I’ve been on FetLife, the Powers That Be at Fet have chosen to devote their programming resources to other tools. There’s plenty of tools FetLife could create to help ameliorate that: allowing people to screen emails from new users / users with under X friends / users of a specific age and gender ranges / a better block functionality. Considering that some high-profile women get 90+ emails a day from dudes, many of them anonymous dick profiles, the old advice of “Just block them if they bother you” isn’t quite enough to stop many women from saying “fuck it” and walking away from a social media site that has become a chore. Now, there is a “block” button on Fet, but that requires you to actively a) seek out that user, and b) block them. ![]() Many women get stalkers, or extensive rape fantasies, or even out-and-out rape threats in their inbox. If you’re a woman on FetLife, and you post pictures or anything sexual, you can expect to get creepy dudes hitting you up for sex sooner or later. What’s Making People So Upset That They’re Temporarily Quitting? I imagine you all have a lot of questions, so I’ll make the rest of this a Q&A. A lot of FetLife users will go temporarily dark next week to protest the crappy way FetLife aids and abets creepy dudes and predators. So if you haven’t heard of the impending FetLife strike, now you have. ![]() (NOTE: Based on time elapsed since the posting of this entry, the BS-o-meter calculates this is 8.442% likely to be something that Ferrett now regrets.)
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